If you ask me, I have a love and hate relationship with my village. Being in this village I find myself so lonely sometimes, for reasons like no one here put stress on education (I'm only 3rd graduate guy in my village and had to fight with my family for it. Sad but true.) as people here are all land-owners who just knows how to plough their field and they consider it knowledge strong enough to survive through their lives. But hey I love my village deeply too and here are reasons for it.
Uncle know it all In our village you can't win arguments just by being correct with facts. You win argument by your 'AGE FACTOR' And if you have white hairs. Just few days ago in our village meeting one of elder guy (he is in our village from zurassic era and had banged many female T-rex in his time) claimed that Sonia Gandhi is American, I stated matter of factly that she is Italian by birth.And this happened
Me:- "But its true she is Italian" Uncle:- (removing his leather slipper) "What?. . . ." Me:- "But. . .she's. . . ." Thawak ! Thawak ! (when leather slipper hits head this sound is produced,without exclaimation mark.) Uncle:- "Now, what were you saying my Son?" Me "Whatever you say Uncle" Debate ends. Leather Slipper won.
Lets Spread Some Rumours Unlike most of citizens who don't give a damn about you until you enter their apartment/home and pee in their kitchen washbasin you cant try anything new in our village without spreading some crazy rumours like. . .
You try new shirt ( You changed your girlfriend)
You don't try new shirt(You are Gay)
You bought a new car/bike/cycle (You are a smuggler)
You didnt buy new car/bike/cycle (You are a terrorist)
till you go crazy they'll notice your each and every action and make a rumour about it.
In the end they make your brain a vagina and brain f*ck you.
Over the years I have learnt how to survive in this brain f*king, slipper weilding society. I keep what I know to myself. I Don't argue with anyone. And I'm living a safe life here.Follow these rules if you visit my village or you'll leave crying after a good spanking. Last time when an Australian tourist came to our village this happened
Aussie:- "Howdy folks ! Looks like I'm lost. Can anyone help me with this map. " Villagers:- "A for Apple" Aussie:- "What. .?" Villagers:- (All Removing leather slippers from feet) "A for Apple" Aussie:- "? ? ? ?" Thawak ! Thawak ! (your remember this sound right ? ?) Aussie:- (Running like a mad dog.) "A for Apple. . .A for Apple."